Dealing with a High Conflict Personality During Divorce

A high-conflict personality is a broad-based term that’s used to describe individuals who either through pressure or through manipulation, through guilt or through anger are able to influence the other spouse to do what they want them to do. The thought of having to stand up to someone who has no trouble trying to manipulate you through pressure, through fear, through guilt, or through anger can be paralyzing.

So there is a path forward. It starts with preparation. You need to start by identifying your own goals. What is your life going to look like six months from now or 12 months from now and for your kids, as well? The second step is to realize that you can’t do it by yourself. The next step is to start to interview attorneys. And you’re going to want to be discriminating. Don’t just hire the first attorney that promises you the most.

And then the fourth and final step is you have to steel yourself to the possibility that you’re going to have to go to court. Some people need the rule-making and enforcement authority that the courtroom provides. My goal as an attorney, as a family law attorney, is to come alongside my client and serve as that professional coach and to equip my clients with the information that they need so that they can make wise and informed choices.

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