In my client consultations as a Dallas divorce lawyer, I answer many questions about separation and divorce. But the question that always makes me scratch my head is the question that comes well after my client has poured their heart out to me and described the issues they are having with their spouse. They are unhappy in their marriage, they are ready to file for divorce, but they still want to know: Do you think my spouse is cheating on me?
The question makes me sad on two fronts. It makes me sad because infidelity has become so common; but also because the answer can sometimes be so obvious. The answer is obvious to me, it is obvious to my paralegal, yet often, my client doesn’t see it. They don’t see it because they don’t want to see it. They don’t see it because love can be blind. And they don’t see it because they would never imagine their marriage could get to this point. But the following 5 indicators, when considered as a whole, often point to the fact that someone is having an affair:
- They password protect their phone, email and social media and refuse to disclose the password.
- They have a bank account or credit card that they keep a secret.
- There is a recent surge in work, travel or spending time apart.
- They recently lack an interest in intimacy.
- They have a new found passion for getting in shape or buying a new wardrobe.
Maintain Hope and Get Help
The facts relating to infidelity are always hard to face, but it is important to maintain hope and get help. If after reading this you believe your spouse is having an affair, please stop and take a deep breath. Know that you can get through this – understand that there is still hope for you and hope for your marriage. However, it is important to get wise counsel and to make decisions that are reasoned and focused with the future in mind instead of being emotional and short sighted. Although the news of discovering your spouse is cheating on you is devastating, the answer is never to respond with malice. Although malice is a natural reaction, you must fight this urge – consult with a trusted friend, a spiritual mentor, and a Dallas family law professional who can assist you in making wise choices that will help you navigate the upcoming journey.